A little behind.

So it's been a couple weeks. But I have been busy, I swear.

Instead of going back and doing the weeks I've missed in our 30 week experiment, I have just finished my colloquium on Darwin and culture and I thought I'd let you know some of my thoughts. For my faithful readers, I think I'll attempt to get back on the 30 week train over Thanksgiving break, never fear.

But I have come to realize this weekend that perhaps Darwin has been unfairly vilified, at least in this part of the country. After all, as a person, and especially as a scientist, he really was a remarkable man. Further, I've heard some say that Darwin didn't really purport macro evolution, only micro. But that's not really accurate either.

What frustrates me is the line drawn in the sand that some would say separates creationists and evolutionists. When in actuality, creation speaks to the "who" of the origin of matter and evolution speaks to the "how." To say that you are uncomfortable with the idea that apes and man have a common ancestor, then I might just say, "Shame on you for letting your comfort dictate scientific discoveries." Because, of course, evolution is not a fact. It is a theory. But, before you say that as a reason it should not be taught-- it is a very very good theory. And Darwin did a lot of very good science before he came to the conclusions that he did. After all, gravity is also just a theory but we don't have anyone rioting about that... except for maybe the flat earth people. (Oh yeah, those people are real.)

All of that to say, perhaps because of Darwin the world-- the west in particular-- is less religious. But I do not think that the Darwinian idea of evolution is an immediate threat to faith. Darwin did not negate God, but the idea of God which was at that time popular in the Church of England. Because, unfortunately, with Paley's watchmaker God argument, we began to decide that if there was something we couldn't understand then it must have been created by the hand of God. However, just because I don't understand something is not proof for God's existence. More importantly, just because I do understand something does not mean that it is not directly caused by God. After all, I understand that when I breathe in my diaphragm moves down so that my lungs will be filled with air that is then used by the alveoli to exchange oxygen and carbon dioxide in my blood. But that does not mean that I do not draw every breath by the grace and hand of God. In the same way that the fact I get paid for working a job does not mean that God has not provided every penny which I call "mine."

Some might say (and I might be one of these) that Darwin did the church a favor by introducing into 19th century England a viable explanation for existence that did not necessarily depend on God. Before you stone me, I only mean to posit that if you have never chosen between God and anything else you have never chosen him at all. Faith that is held only because there is no other option is not real faith. Further, Darwin allowed us to see that perhaps our perceptions of God are not the same thing as God himself. Just because the God of the gaps was torn down does not mean that God does not exist-- instead, our understanding of him has been refined.

All this to say, is that Creation is something of a sign for those who have ears to hear and eyes to see. I learn about evolution and how things came to be the way they are and think, "Wow, isn't God so marvelous." At the same time, Richard Dawkins may take the same facts and say, "See, we have no need of Him." Is that Darwin's fault. Oh, I don't think so. And if we teach our children good science about evolution are we trying to turn them all into Atheists? Probably not. And further, is the secular classroom the proper arena to talk about the Creator? I don't really think so. After all, if we have ears to hear, then creation itself will point to God-- regardless of how he did it.

Ha. Things you can come to think at a Baptist school in Oklahoma.

Oh God of truth, save us from the fear that will keep us from finding You. Amen.

This is Halloween.

I love Halloween.

I know, I know. It's the most pagan of all holidays. But I really love costumes, carving pumpkins, scary movies, candy, and, of course, the occasional dance party. Call me a hedonist. This year's was delightful. Highlights included the 3rd annual roommate pumpkin carving contest as well as a dance party hosted by the junior class (unofficially). Unfortunately, in my love for celebration, I put off doing real things and then stayed up until 3 in the morning translating Greek and studying for church history. But, all's well that ends well and I did just fine on the test on Monday. Without further ado, here's some pictures:

I am not quite ready to give this up. 

Disch and I carved the fail whale. But the winners of the night were Derek and Lane with "pumpkin eating a pumpkin." Congrats!

So there you have it. There are more pictures on facebook.

Oh, and for those of you keeping score at home, costumes included: Frank from 30 Rock, a casserole disch, king of the world, french kiss, Twiggy, a cat, someone from star wars, and Dan and Leah as each other. Pumpkins included: pumpkinception, Lionel Richie, Daniel age 15, fail whale, pumpkin eating a pumpkin, and the headless horseman.

Happy holidays, ladies and gentlemen.

Week 18- A picture that makes you feel...

Feel what? Nostalgic? Ecstatic? Frisky?

All the above...

Love my family.

Week 17- Something I want to be remembered for.

One day late. Sorry.

I want to empower people. I want to take the downtrodden, oppressed, ostracized, and disenfranchised and remind them that Jesus loves them while giving them some of the tools they need to become the person God has created them to be. I want to fight power structures. I want to open the eyes of my students (whatever form that takes) of the freedom and life that is only found in Christ. I want my life to be an example of the gospel-- the truth that Jesus is king and Caesar is not. I want to live in a way that says I do not obey Pharaoh anymore. I want to walk by the Spirit-- to hear the words of Jesus, see what his eyes would see, and dream his thoughts.

That is who I am learning to be. That is how I want to be remembered.

This week's article.

A Case for Pacifism

Stories are the frame by which we make sense of our lives. Stories are the truth that give meaning to events and allow humankind to interpret our experience. I ask you, by what story are you living?

A professor told us the tale of a small boy in Sunday school, learning about the cross of Jesus for the first time. As the Romans began to nail him to the cross, the 9-year-old stood up and cried, “If Roy Rogers was there he would’ve showed them who’s boss! He would’ve stopped them from killing Jesus!”

This is the American story. The good guys come in with guns blazing, fighting valiantly to victory in the name of justice. But should this be our story?

The story of the people of God is different. For Israel, even when it came time to make war, their story said that they depended on God for their victory. Ultimately they were a bunch of “wandering Arameans” who could do nothing unless empowered by YHWH.

In Genesis 4, the result of humankind’s disobedience is revealed dramatically in a story of brother killing brother in the context of worship. No longer able to live in unhindered relationship with God, we work out our frustration in violence. By chapter 6, God is “grieved to his heart” that the earth is “full of violence.” From the beginning and continuing until now, violence is the quintessential human problem.

Is not the cross the ultimate commentary on this? God sent us his son and confronted with our own inadequacies, the best we could come up with was to kill Him.

But we are called to follow the path of Christ. This means when we are slapped to turn another cheek. We are to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us.

Does that mean Jesus has asked us to simply stand by and watch the world go to ruin?

No! Jesus calls us not to “passivism” but to seek out creative ways to promote peace—i.e. non-violent resistance. To turn the other cheek is to confront your attacker with the reality of their wrong. They are demeaning a person equal to them in the eyes of God. By turning the other cheek, you remind them of your dignity—that your hand will not be your advocate, but YHWH himself. This is the life Jesus lived. It was at his weakest moment, when he inhaled his last breath, that the Roman Centurion realized, “Surely this man was a son of God.”

As Paul encouraged us, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” We must actively seek ways to promote peace. That is our highest, most counter-cultural call. As it is written, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”

What is your story? Who is your advocate? Will you depend on the might of Pharaoh or the faithfulness of your God and Redeemer?

I will not trust in chariots, but I trust in the name of YHWH my God, knowing that though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.

I am committed to a life of non-violence. What if I am attacked? My kingdom is not of this world. But if I forsake all in order to live the life to which he has called me, then I will receive 100 times more in the life to come—but I must not expect to live this life without persecution. When I confess that Jesus is Lord, I say that I will do things His way. Ultimately that must include adopting a story of dependence on God and a commitment to non-violence.

Veronica Pistone

Contributing Columnist

On a lighter note I am making myself wear scarves. This is my attempt to be girly. More scarves, less t-shirts. So far so good. Totes M'gotes.

Week 16- Some things I want to do in the next 5 years

-Graduate
-Grad school
-Get a masters
-Maybe start on a doctorate
-Meet someone
-Maybe, get married. Maybe.
-Live overseas
-Get experience preaching
-Go to Paris, Israel, and/or Hawaii


... but mostly, I figure I want to keep doing the things I'm doing now. It's a pretty good life.

Week 15- A moment that changed your life.

One time, about ten years ago, someone said, "Come, follow me."

So I left everything and followed him.

Rocking the Bison Hill Boat

So this week, I put an article in the student newspaper-- something I've been doing regularly now because Disch and I split a column called "Bursting the Bubble." Anyway, it's been making some pretty big waves over here, so I thought I'd post it in case anyone else wanted to read it and join the conversation. Furthermore, I'd like to say that before I submitted this article, I had no idea that the trustees were going to be on campus this week. So there's probably a large group of SBC deacons who have it out for me now. Oh well.

Why I am a Christian who Supports Same-Sex Marriage

I begin this brief treatise with a presupposition: marriage does not belong to the church. Allow me to explain. Marriage is a rite of the church in the literal sense—in Civ we all learned that marriage is one of the seven sacraments of the Catholic Church. However, historically people outside the church have gotten married all the time. Even today, if two Satanists currently living in sin decide to go down to the courthouse and get hitched, I would be hard pressed to find a good Evangelical looking to stop them.

Historically, marriage has been more about economics than anything else. Farmer needs a business partner, girl needs an income, their parents do some exchanging of money and boom! A love story made in heaven. In fact, it is the changes which heterosexuals made to marriage that have caused homosexual marriage to become an issue.

That brings me to my second presupposition: marriage is no longer about sex or bearing children. In fairness, for me, marriage is about sex because I have made the decision to abstain until then. But for society at large, sex has been removed from marriage by the prevalence of birth control and changing social standards. I don’t know anyone who would argue that because a child is born outside of wedlock he is any less entitled to both parents’ resources and love. But historically, that is a ridiculous argument. In fact, a major part of getting married, historically, was about determining which offspring should legitimately inherit the manor.

Instead, we have decided that marriage is about love and personal fulfillment. That means if someone does not ever want to get married then that is their choice. Or if a couple wants to get married and never have kids, that is also their choice. And (outside of the evangelical context) if a couple chooses to live together and have a family without ever getting married, that is an option. Single mothers or fathers are not looked down upon and divorce is no longer as stigmatized as it once was.

Socially speaking, we should not be surprised that homosexuals are demanding the right to marriage. After all, weren’t we the ones who decided it was about being happy? If the only real requirement to marriage is being in love, why do we get to choose which in love people get to get married?

Third presupposition: marriage is about inheritance, property rights, and plenty of other things I never think about. Did you know that it is more expensive to live as a homosexual than as a heterosexual? This is because rules about employment benefits, insurance, etc. apply only to immediate family. And if you are not allowed to get married, then you can never become immediate family. Imagine, if I got married today to someone with great life insurance, and he died in 3 weeks, I would get all of the benefits of that life insurance policy. If someone has been in a relationship with someone of the same gender for 67 years and dies, the other partner receives nothing because they are not technically immediate family. Being a homosexual makes wills and assigning next of kin for medical purposes more difficult, if you want to include your partner. Really, legally and financially if you are not a heterosexual, your life is just going to be more complicated.

There are many more things I could mention. But I will end with this: I do believe that homosexuality is a sin and the bible is very clear about that. But, I have come to decide that as an American, it is not my job to legislate the bible. I do not see my choice to vote in favor of gay marriage as voting for sin, but rather choosing not to vote against sin for the greater value in voting for equality. Above all things, I believe that it does not love homosexuals to take away their civil liberties. If we are going to legislate based on sexual sin, then anyone who has had sex outside of marriage should not be allowed to get married. Anyone who uses pornography should not be allowed to get married. Anyone who has ever been divorced or cheated or lusted (which Jesus said is the same as adultery) should not be allowed to get married.

What should we do instead? Instead of dictating to the world who can and can’t get married, I believe that the church should glorify God with their own marriages. The evangelical community has a divorce rate slightly higher than that of the rest of the world. Perhaps, if we allowed everyone to get married and then really sought to glorify God with our marriages, we would be salty and illuminating and the world would say, “Oh hey, Christian marriages work really well. Maybe there’s something to that.”

I believe that being a defender of marriage has little to do with how I vote, but instead how I live my life as an example to the world of the identity of my Savior.

Veronica Pistone

Contributing Columnist

Thoughts?

Week 14- Favorite Mashup

I actually really like mashups... and I've heard a lot of really great ones that I really like... but for the life of me this is the only one I can remember. So, enjoy.

Week 13- A memory that never fails to make me laugh.

Oh. So many to choose from.

When you go on a trip with Wonbyone to Jamaica, they have a traditional wake up for your last day in the village. And let me just tell you, they turn the music up as loud as it goes and play the Haka-- a Maori war chant-- as recorded by the New Zealand rugby team. You can hear it throughout the entire valley. The Jamaicans think it is hilarious, but if you don't know it's coming, it's terrifying. The first time I was there, when I heard it, I seriously thought I was being attack by demons. Then I realized everyone else heard it too and calmed down. Ha. But the second time I was there, I knew it was coming so when I heard it, I just got up and started getting ready. But I see Greg Massey walk by and he puts up the hood on his hoodie, grabs a machete, and says, "I'll take care of this." And walked down the hall. I think I fell on the floor, I was laughing so hard.

In other news, I had a terrific birthday weekend. :) Going home is so good sometimes. Now, I have tons of homework. Bleh.

Love.

Week 12- My favorite artist's life story

... you're welcome.

I want kids like this some day.

Henry is da da da dancing!!! @ Yahoo! Video

Week 11- My favorite picture of myself.

This is probably not actually it. I think my favorite picture of myself is either one of two when I am very young. I have them with me, but I am scanner-less at this school. So maybe when I get home I will put them up. But I do really like this picture, mostly because I think this is probably how I actually look most of the time.

In other news, it is my birthday on Tuesday. I am getting this:

http://bit.ly/cQ5pix

If you are thinking about getting something like that, then you should order from them as well because we can both get a little money back. Order from Republic Bike and get $5 off by using my referral: http://www.republicbike.com/default.asp?referral_code=funjarrBaaJBaDeHaBX

They estimate that my bike is going to be built on my birthday and then they're going to ship it to me and I couldn't be more thrilled.

In other, other news, I made Biggie! For my non-OBU readers, Biggie is one of three talent shows that we have every year. I am an emcee, so I will be doing lots of skits and being ridiculous. It should be a really great time. The show is going to be excellent. So, if you're not doing anything on the 18th get your behind down to Shawnee and come play.

I think that covers everything. It's going to be a crazy hectic week, but I'm looking forward to it. :)

Week 10- A Dream in Detail

This week's theme actually comes at a great time. I had a crazy dream just a couple of nights ago. In my dream Scott was dating a former olympic gymnast named Christy Brinkley. (Googled it later, turns out Christy Brinkley is a supermodel and not a gymnast, but oh well.) So all of us are hanging out at some crazy tall old house. And we're all the same age but Scott is dating this 40 year old former gymnast... and everyone is acting really normal about it. But then I remember that the reason she is famous is because she was kicked out of the Olympics when a porno that she did when she was younger surfaced. Now, in this porno she played a delivery guy. And I'm trying to explain that to everyone when she hears me whispering the words "delivery guy" to everyone. BUSTED! She knew that I was blowing her secret to everyone. And I had to apologize and it was super awkward between us. Then, I woke up. It was really strange.

Another trend in my dreaming life has been to hit the snooze button and dream that I'm getting ready. About the time that I'm in the shower, my alarm goes off again! It surprises me every time! I think it's probably happened 4 mornings since I've been back at OBU. It's strange, strange, strange.

That's all for now.

P.S. My birthday is in nine days and I think I'm going to ask for one of these:

Week 9- Five things I want to see change

1. the conservative monopoly on orthodoxy

2. the accepted role of women within the church

3. the prevalence of sex trafficking

4. the lack of love in people who claim to be God's followers

5. my relationship status. :)

I had to throw in something a little more light-hearted, eh?

Week 8- Someone I think would make a great president

Sorry about the delay. Welcome Week craziness.

I suppose I choose this man:

But mostly because his first picture on google images is better than John Stewart's.

Week 7- Favorite cover of my favorite song

easy decision.



(Katy Perry singing MGMT's "Electric Feel")

honorable mentions:
Matchbox 20 singing Cindy Lauper's "Time After Time" (favorite cover of all time)
The Kooks singing MGMT's "Kids"
the bird and the bee singing Hall & Oates' "Maneater"

Week 6- Earliest thing you can remember

Posting from Nashville, btw, on graduate school search part 2. Today, Vandy. Tomorrow, Duke.

Well, this is embarrassing, but the earliest thing I can remember is...

Once, when I was very young (obviously), when we still lived in Pennsylvania, so I must've been about 3 years old, I was playing outside in the cul-de-sac. I remember it was summer and I was playing with the kids on the street. I was wearing overalls and my hair was short. I had to go to the bathroom and I ran up to my house. I rang the doorbell, but no one answered. I started to panic. I mean, I really had to go to the bathroom. Where was my dad? Wasn't he home? What was I going to do? I rang the doorbell again and waited desperately. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, my father opened the door. Unfortunately, it was just a little too late and right as he opened the door I peed my pants. Then I really didn't know what to do. I started to explain to my dad that I had to go to the bathroom and was waiting and didn't make it. Apparently, this was really funny to him and he started laughing and said it was ok. In fairness, if I opened my front door and the first thing I saw was my 3-year-old pee her pants, I'd probably laugh too. But then I just felt so terrible and I cried. So there we were, father and daughter, my dad was trying to comfort me and tell me that I wasn't in trouble and I could just change my clothes but he just kept laughing at my terrible misfortune.

In retrospect, it is really funny. But at the time, I'm sure it was mortifying.

Oh, childhood.
love.

We just like to party, like to p-p-party, yeah.

GAGA!

The moment you've all been waiting for. Here's some pictures from the Gaga concert. More are on facebook.

Things that I learned or that surprised me:
1) The amount of music I didn't know.
2) The extent of the costuming. (She changed outfits at least 8 times)
3) The amount of penis... on stage, off stage... in the open... everywhere.... IT WAS EVERYWHERE.
4) The vulgarity. (It was a little more over the top then I expected.)
5) Lady Gaga's favorite charity supports homeless LGBT people. (Not super surprising, but I didn't know that before.)
6) More down time than expected
7) Lead singer of the opening band changed on stage. (see point number 3.)

I'm sorry that I used the word penis. But it really just took me by surprise.

Overall, loved it. Had a great time. She's a great performer. I hope I get to see her again. It was very theatrical, high energy, and terribly entertaining. I would definitely do it again!

My father, sister and I before the concert.

Playing a piano in the hood of a car






Playing a piano on fire




She is crazy. But, I love her. :) Looks like I'm going to be crazy busy until school starts-- only about 2 more weeks! yikes!

love.

Week 5- Thank you letter to someone who changed your life.

Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for allowing me to have influence over the ministry that meant everything to you. Thank you for speaking life into me, for giving me a place to use my gifts, for supporting me virtually unconditionally. Thank you for being a friend and a father figure. Your love has helped me become who I am today and above all, taught me that that's ok. Without you, I'm sure I would've quit long ago. I love you and I'm so thankful for you. :)

Week 4- Paradise

What do I think Paradise will be like?

An interesting question. It's funny because I feel like I honestly have never really given this question much thought. I know Jesus will be there and all the people who follow him... and that will be awesome. But other than that I can only tell you that I hope that there's really great music, it's always 73 degrees, there's an ocean as well as mountains, and everyone dances and the dance parties.

I know, it's not terribly exciting but I suppose I'm pretty easily pleased.

Week 3- Five Desert Island Songs

Did I miss Sunday again? Yes I did. I'm not sure how that happened. Anyway. This week's question is a hard one. So I'm just going to answer quickly and apologize to songs I forget later.

1. Cuddle Fuddle-- Passion Pit

2. Hey Ya-- Outkast

3. My Love- the bird and the bee

Music Video is here.

4. Lasso-- Phoenix

5. Hallelujah (Hallelujah two)-- Phil Rice


Enjoy!
love.

I'm a liar on so many counts. (Week 2)

On the first count, I was on my super-awesome-mini-road-trip-vaca and couldn't update on Sunday. Furthermore, I forgot my camera and so I have no pictures of any of it to share with you.

Long story short, Brite is AWESOME. I loved it so much and I could really see myself there. It's terrifying to think about picking up my life and moving to Ft. Worth but it's terrifying to think about moving anywhere. I'm not ready for big girl school/adult life. Anyway, it'll be interesting to see how the other school visits go and how I like other schools.

HOLLA. 30 Week Challenge, Week 2- Something that Inspires Me.

This is a good question. I think the answer is reflecting on the things that God has done or has used me to do, specifically with TPX in mind. That's a weird, non-descript answer, but I can't pinpoint one thing. I think about speaking at the retreat or seeing his Spirit move at camp or interning two years ago and I just get really excited and... inspired. :)

Here's a video, courtesy Adam Truax.



If you like that, I'll link this too. Thanks, Adam.


Love! (And I promise I'll bring my camera to Duke.)

Happy Holidays Kids! (30 week challenge: week 1, Guilty Pleasure)

I begin this post like I must begin every 4th of July post-- Please, everyone, try not to blow yourselves up this weekend.

Furthermore, I have decided that my blog is really boring. So I'm starting the 30 week challenge. I'm stealing it from Ben, who did it as a 30 day challenge, but I'm going to stretch it out a little bit. Postsecret only updates once a week so I feel like that's probably ok for me. So this can be week one of the 30 week challenge and then I'll just add a little commentary from life. Deal? Deal.

Week 1- Guilty Pleasure.

There are a lot... but I'm going to say it's this song:



Listen, if it wasn't so awesome, there wouldn't be so many covers of it. When I was looking on youtube I found at least 4 by artists I genuinely like.

So there you have it. You can look forward to these posts on Sundays.




Other interesting life news: I'm visiting Brite Divinity school next Tuesday. They are on the same campus as TCU though technically different institutions. All I know about them thus far is they are affiliated with Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), one guy I'm researching for my thesis teaches there, and they seem surprisingly liberal for an evangelical school in Texas. I say this because on their FAQ one thing mentioned is the non-discriminatory policy towards LGBT students. It seems like this will be a good place to go if I'm interested in sticking with wisdom literature as an emphasis. The visit will definitely be interesting. And I get to swim in my Aunt's pool. I'll report back with pictures.

Have an excellent independence day!
love.

Future.

"So, did you graduate?"
"No I have one year left."
"Oh, what are you going to do?"

Some version of this happens, I'm going to say, about, 17 times a week, usually all at church functions. But I think I've slowly worked through the entire congregation of Gateway, so maybe it will stop. I know, I know, wishful thinking.

It's not that I don't like talking about the future. It's just that I have no idea what I'm doing. I have it down to two options. However those options are 1)grad school, 2)something else.

I've had some really good lunches with some people that have led me to this conclusion: I need to let God's voice/judgment/opinion be the only one with any influence when choosing career/school/life. That's been a pretty big deal for me, but I'm going to avoid the rant and leave it at that. Furthermore, I know that ministry is always going to be a big part of my life, but I see myself doing it bi-vocationally. And so for that reason, until God says otherwise, I'm going to pursue being a professor because that is the only career I can imagine myself having/liking and it would give me the best schedule ever with which I could plan life/ministry.

I don't know why I'm using so many slashes. I apologize.

So option 1 is split into 6-- which is up because I added another school to the stupid list. But if that is the route we continue then in one year I will either be at: Duke, Vanderbilt, Union Theological Seminary, Texas Christian, Wake Forest, or Fuller Theological Seminary. Fuller is the new added one and it is on the list because 1)I could go all the way to doctorate, 2)I really respect the people I know who have studied there, 3)Dallas Willard, 4)Glen Stassen. Before it was not on the list because it is in Pasadena. A big part of me doesn't want to live in California, but a bigger part of me says, "Hey, two of your top three favorite theologians currently teach there and it's non-denominational." So really, it wasn't included before because of my own stubbornness.

All of that to say, I'm visiting four of them this summer and hopefully I will get a chance to visit the last two at some point. I'll be at TCU some time next week and Duke, Vanderbilt, and Wake Forest in August. I have no idea how I'm going to afford a visit to New York or Pasadena but, we'll see.

Option 2 is still open because sometimes God surprises us and I just want to leave room for that in my mind so that I don't freak out if/when it happens.


Blerg. Life is hard to figure out but I feel pretty good about what seems to be going down now. :)

love.

Today is a good day.

This morning I got up, had an english muffin and coffee (although I didn't quite do the coffee maker correctly... and there was coffee all over the counter...that's another story.), and now I am going to grab some theology and a sweater and sit on my front porch to watch the rain and think about what God is like.

I am currently at a place where I can see myself growing-- I can see where I've been, how I've gotten there, and realize that I am in a position to figure out myself and what I believe and why on a much deeper level than I ever have before. Let me explain.

When I first became a Christian, I learned a lot about God the Father, because really, I was starting from scratch and this idea of a God that was talked about in the bible was something I had no notions about. So I started devouring the word to see what he was like. Later, as I started to figure out my giftings, I really got acquainted with the Holy Spirit and learned to hear him speak and feel him move and follow his direction. And finally in college I have begun to understand God the savior-- Jesus. It started by going overseas and continued through life of Christ and has now taken this interesting turn.

Here's what I'm figuring out. If we want to know what God is like, we can't take our ideas about what God must be to scripture to make them fit. We must first look at what God has said about himself. God's greatest act of self-expression is found in the man of Jesus. When God wanted us to know what He was like, he gave up all of his heavenly glory, became one of us, and then was led silently like a lamb to the slaughter as we killed Him. God's defining characteristic is love. God has power, but God is love.

So I've been reading some theology to see what that means I believe about everything else. And that is kind of a big deal. But I like it. It has been a sweet journey. Not that any of these processes are ever finished, but I do think this is going to be a defining stage of my life.

I'll let you know how it goes. For now, I will enjoy the respite from the heat, the rain, and the goodness of the one who loves me beyond anything I could ever begin to understand.


Other awesome reading has included/will soon include: Psalms, The Life You Always Wanted by John Ortberg, and The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence.


Lord, teach me to be with you and teach me to pray. That's what I ask for this summer of exile. Amen.

Since the last time I saw you...

A few things have changed.

I've read a couple books.

Thanks to the beauty of science and a couple of lasers, I no longer wear contacts. My left eye is still a little blurry but I plan on waking up in the morning with perfect vision. Here's hoping.

I am now employed by 54th Street Bar and Grill in Blue Springs. I finish training tomorrow and then I will be thrown into the overwhelming world of waiting tables. I'm a little nervous but I hope that I'll get on my feet quickly. I have a test over the menu tomorrow so tonight means study, study, study!

Actually, I think that's pretty much everything. My life is not too exciting. This summer Selina and I will be reading the Life You've Always Wanted by John Ortberg. I'll dedicate another post to that later.

Hope you're feeling as bright and warm as the sun.
-Vern

To make up for being so List-y

I realized that 80% of my last 5 posts have been lists. Here's a little change of pace. Why? Because it's funny and it's cute and I showed it to my dad and now he watches it almost once a day. Ha. Love it.

Summer is...

-two books so far
-a rediscovered love for N64
-job hunting
-unemployment
-sister time
-TPX
-a tad bit of loneliness
-the O.C.
-working out

IF ANYONE KNOWS ANYONE HIRING TELL ME NOW.

please.

SUMMERRRRRRRR

That time is almost here-- and I have the sunburn to prove it. Here's the list of awesome that should be the next 3 months.

-Daddy/daughter road trip to visit grad schools
-research for thesis
-study for GRE
-translating Greek
-job... somewhere...
-LADY GAGA
-TPX fun
-wedding things with Nikki
-time with family
-as much time outside as possible
-lasik
-other misc. duties.

Ha. I've been writing out my work history a lot... so I feel like all lists end with other misc. duties now. Reading list, TBA. Suggestions?

Love.

The good news is:

I have turned in my last two assignments and now all I have to do is read and study for finals. I'm going to be home in 9 days. NUTS! I think this is the first time I actually get to enjoy "dead week." Oh, OBU.

This is by no means the ten best things, but only ten good things that I am thinking of right now. I don't have a good enough memory to do the ten best. Also, my journals are not here. SO, top ten countdown of my ten years with Jesus in pseudo chronological order-- here we go.

1. Speaking at TPX Retreat (2010)
2. Summer in Central Asia (2009)
3. Prayer fast (2008-2009)
4. Jamaica, pt. 2 (2008)
5. Dancing in worship for the first time (2007)
6. Silent Retreat (2007)
7. Mentoring one of the coolest girls I have ever met (2006-present)
8. Teenstaff (2004-2007)
9. Meeting the Holy Spirit (2004)
10. Finding Gateway (2004)

Ok. So we've been a little top-heavy. But what can I say? I had to get out of my Christian-music-only phase and become a real person before I could do anything super phenomenal.

It keeps getting better.
love.
-V

Anniversaries

There are two very important anniversaries approaching in my life.

Beatrice and I will have been together for an entire year in 4 days. April 30, 2009 was the day we were united. It has been a year of bliss. The first couple days were rocky, but once I mastered the stick shift, it was sheer love.

More importantly, sometime here in the next couple of weeks-- I'm not sure of the exact date-- will mark the ten year point in my relationship with Christ. That blows my mind. Jesus and I have been together for about half of my life now-- one decade. It has been a crazy one at that. There have been ups and downs, but overall it has been so good. I have gotten to experience so many sweet things, so many things so much bigger than me. I think I might put together a top ten list or something to commemorate... but I just had that idea so that might be another post. Most of all, it is crazy to look back on my life and think, "Wow Jesus, I can't believe you pick me but you sure are faithful."

I love Him so much. I can't wait to see what the next 10 years hold.

-Vern.

I found this while I was writing my ethics paper...

Things like this make me love people.

"Why Men Should Never Be Pastors."

-Men are too emotional to be pastors. Their conduct at football and basketball games proves this.

-Some men are so handsome they will distract women worshipers.

-Their physical build indicates that men are more suited to tasks such as chopping down trees and wrestling mountain lions. It would be "unnatural" for them to do other forms of work.

-The person who betrayed Jesus was a man. Thus, his lack of faith and ensuing punishment stand as a symbol of the subordinate position that all men should take.

-Men are overly prone to violence. No truly masculine man wants to settle disputes without a fight. Thus, men would be poor role models, as well as being dangerously unstable in positions of leadership.

-Ordained pastors are required to nurture their congregations. But this is not a traditional male role. Rather, throughout history, women have been considered more skilled than men at nurturing. This makes them the obvious choice for ordination.

-For men who have children, their pastoral duties might distract them from the responsibility of being a parent.

-Men can still be involved in church activities, even without being ordained. they can sweep sidewalks, repair the church roof and maybe even lead the singing on Father's Day. By confining themselves to such traditional male roles, they can still be vitally important in the life of the church.


Two parts humor, one part food for thought.
-Vern.

The irony, of course, is...

While it is so easy to feel your love for others, my heart is so often blinded to your love for me.

Being prayed over at church--> season of weeping is unfinished.

love.

Blessed are Those Who Mourn

For they shall be comforted.

I'm in a weird season of life. It's a season of mourning-- but there's nothing really terrible happening to me. It's kind of hard to explain.

I have been confronted over and over again in the recent weeks with the world's desperate need for Jesus, often being moved to tears. This is weird for me. I'm not the stereotypical "not a crier" but I'm definitely not usually the first person to cry about something and tears are very rarely my first response to anything.

But it's been surprisingly good. I've been very aware of God's love for people. And whenever I'm confronted with someone who is running from Him, my first thought is not about their sin, but the fact that, above all, God is still pursuing their heart. Because His love for any person will always far outweigh whatever things they've tried to throw between themselves and Him. But He does not ravish, He only woos.

And so at the end of the day I rest assured that my heart is beating. And He is shaping it to look more like His. His heart hurts because of the brokenness in this world. But He is also the Comforter.

In all things, love.
-Vern

It Blows My Mind.

When I think about the things that happened this weekend, those are the only words that come to me.

I blows my mind that a small thought I had during a Life of Christ lecture last semester turned into a theme. That theme turned into an outline that I woke up and wrote down at 3 AM some time about 3 months ago. That outline turned into three 30 minute talks to 101 students. And somehow in that crazy mish-mash of events, God can use a little girl with a high-pitched voice and a lisp to speak life and truth into people she's never met-- and some people she's known for a long time.

This weekend was probably the coolest thing I've ever gotten to do. Mostly because I know that I didn't really do anything. But I get to get up in front of a room full of people and celebrate how wonderful my Savior is. Furthermore, I get to ask them to join me.

God is moving in a powerful way in a small community in Blue Springs. And that is crazy good.

Many thanks to the wonderful people who have supported me throughout this process. There were so many adults encouraging me both along the way and throughout the weekend. Watching you guys love on kids was one of the sweetest things to me. Your love means so much more to my life than I think words could express.


There are a few things that have especially touched my heart. Several students came and thanked me for speaking to them. One told me I was his hero. I can't believe God lets me do His work this way. One parent told me it was important for her that her kids heard good teaching and that's why she was glad I was there... do you guys just enjoy watching me cry??

Gah. I am so tired. And I am so amazed that God is so good and He chooses to use a fool like me to bring little pieces of His kingdom to this earth.

Now to Him who is able to do abundantly more than we could ever ask or imagine, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus for ever and ever, amen!

Much love.
-Vern.

#SB2010!

Oh twitter. You have rocked my world.

Things I have done over spring break:
-Shutter Island (excellent.)
-Alice in Wonderland-- the 3D Imax experience, no less. (Even more excellent.)
-Family birthday celebration
-Pedicure
-Doctor
-Dentist
-Youtube
-Sporcle
-Quiet times for retreat. Special thanks to Adam and Scott for their help (the Risinger kind, not the Sterling kind, for those of you keeping score at home).

Things I have not done over spring break:
-any form of school work.
... this is going to be a problem. I didn't even move my homework out of the trunk of my car until today. Tomorrow is going to be a day of productivity-- or I'm going to fail a couple of tests next week. I guess we'll just see what the cards hold.


And since we are listing I will give you a brief summary of some things I learned about marriage and family.
-Some causes of poverty are systemic.
-I still don't know what to do about that.
-Divorce does not necessarily ruin kids.
-Legalizing gay marriage is really probably going to happen... and it's because of changes that heterosexuals made to marriage.
-Liberals and conservatives both tend to fail at life (and policy writing).


-- maybe instead of crusading for marriage and berating people for divorce, the church should teach people how to love better and have better relationships overall. After all, if people have learned how to be happily married then they probably won't have much reason to get divorced. eh? Also, people who are happily married tend to be better parents. And, even if happily married isn't an option anymore-- we can still teach people to be better parents and co-parents.


Love.
-V

... but that's how God made things.

Every time I learn something, I realize that I have so much more to learn.

Today is the first day of my OSLEP class on Marriage and Family. For those of you unfamiliar with the system, I'll give you the basic rundown. OSLEP is a seminar program where you do an intensive study with a scholar. Basically, I read a bunch of stuff and did some pre-seminar writing assignments, and now I'm here hashing it out with all the other people who read it and one of the people who wrote it. Good stuff.

It is interesting to be in a secular learning environment for the first time in 2 and a half years. It's surprisingly refreshing. It's almost as if the pressure is off because you don't have to have God on your side when you're done figuring things out. Not that I'm separating my faith and learning, but I think I want to really see what the research says before I make my judgments about what God says.

But this is what I've really been thinking. There is so much to learn about marriage and so many assumptions that we make. Really, even the nuclear family is a social construction and so are gender roles within society and even dating practices. So I've just been thinking about the proliferation of Christian dating books. It seems to me that anyone who wants to can be an expert on Christian dating. And the threat with that is that when someone decides to be an expert on Christian anything the result is not, "Here's my conclusion," it's "Here's what God says." And people have a history of doing stupid, unfounded things in the name of God.

So maybe, Christians, before we decide to claim an expertise based on special revelation that God has given us, we should really look into all of the facets of the issue. Because you might just decide that marriage as an institution is not something you want to claim inherently belongs to the church. And you might decide that things we believe boys and girls should do and roles they should follow may not be as "innate" as we thought they were. And once we have actually educated ourselves, maybe then we will have something worthwhile to say.

Oh college, liberating my mind.

We'll see what I decide at the end of the week. I'll let you know. :)

Love.
-Vern

I would do anything for love...

But I won't do that.

Do you remember that song? It's funny,of course Meatloaf meant it as a joke, but perhaps he was on to something. Do we all have a "that?" Something my mother has always said that there were only two things my father could ever do to make her leave: hit her or cheat on her... and if he did she was taking the kids. But we all sort of laugh when she says this because of course those are two things my dad is definitely not ever planning on doing. But maybe my mom is simply communicating something we all hold on to secretly in the depths of our hearts-- limits.

So last week I found myself at my limit saying to God, "I would do anything for love, but I won't do that." For me, at least, this was an expression of hurt which had turned to bitterness and expressed itself in selfishness. And though I had the opportunity to see God in my pain, I knew that I thought what He was bound to ask me to do was something I had absolutely no intention of doing. "That, God? Are you sure THAT is what you want?" So I stuck my fist in the air and paid a fine to get on the next boat going anywhere but Ninevah thinking, "I'd rather run from you than do that."

That's how I ended up in the belly of the whale.

And only from there, when I saw that I was going to be stuck in the dark, gasping for breath, and turning more and more disgusting as time went on, only there did I call out to God. Then I repented and said, "You're right. And the vow which I have made, I will fulfill." And once again I found that His grace is sufficient for me and He is still the fountainhead of life.

What a fool I have been! Though I can't help but wonder if this life is nothing more than a continual conquering of "that"s until there is truly nothing we wouldn't do for love-- being obedient, even to death on a cross. Because in my stubbornness I have been confronted by the one who has loved me so perfectly and so completely that he has yet to find the thing He wouldn't do for love.

My God, my God, why hast Thou accepted me? Truly to you, I owe everything.


Needless to say, it has been a refreshing weekend here on dry land, getting ready for a trip of obedience.

-Vern.

Time Crunch.

I have had so many good, life-giving conversations in the past week. But I have not done enough homework.

This is a problem.

Stupid school. I love you but I wish I had 3 day weekends and an endless supply of caffeine.

You know what is so funny?

Reading things I wrote from about 7th-10th grade. Why? Because I was sooooo adolescent.

Oh awkward years, is there anything you didn't ruin?

:) I really recommend it. Also, I hope that you and your lame ex-boyfriend also had xangas so you can see all of the awesomeness you wrote on it.

I love growing up.

Some days are harder than others.

But it would be nice to have less of those days.

I think the ice makes us all crazy.

I feel like in fairness to OBU I should update on the weather condition. We did get about a half-inch of ice (which is a lot of ice) which was then covered by 5 inches of snow. Steve informed me that OBU cancelled the two days of classes in hopes that students would go home so that if the power went out there would be less people to deal with. Ok. ok. I forgive you. The good news is this: the power is still on and we have had some epic sledding, dancing, eating, movie-ing, etc. and these have been two spectacular overall snow days. However, I still have to pick up the homework but today is only Saturday... so there's TOTALLY time for that... later.

In other news, my heart has been very heavy the last couple of weeks and that heaviness has come to fruition this weekend. Without giving too much away-- because this is the internet and anyone who wants to can read this-- I have come to a certain point where I feel like I have stepped out in faithfulness (although, I did pansy out a little bit so maybe not in the BEST way possible) and now there is nothing left for me to do besides pray. Perhaps this is why no one took my January class. Now at least I am ready for this feeling of wondering why God has asked me to do something when it seems like no one is responding. But now my job is to keep praying and to pray diligently, something I have never been fabulous at doing. So this post is really my commitment to persevere. I've said I'll do something (to God only knows how many people) and now that is what I'll do.

With that said, I feel like when I'm trying to discern something really large I have more trouble discerning little things... like I've reached my quota for the day or something. With that said, I just want you to know that if I do something stupid or say something insensitive in the next week or so, I don't really mean it and please forgive me. I promise you it will haunt me as I go to sleep-- I tend to mull over my "mistakes" until I am told that there's nothing more I can do to make it right. Call me a walking guilt complex but it's always been true.

So this might be a vague and jumbled mess, but it might be a deep look into my soul. At least, I've been painfully aware of my faults these last couple days and I think that those are ok things to be aware of. That was a dangling preposition. See? Yet another imperfection.

Love you all-- and if you want to pray for me, I would appreciate it. :)

May the peace of Christ which transcends understanding guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Amen.

-Veronica

Here's what I know:

It was approximately 55 degrees yesterday when the entire city of Shawnee raided walmart and OBU decided to cancel classes for both today and tomorrow. Listen people, it's some ice, it's not the apocalypse. Ok, so I haven't been outside yet, but I do think that this has all been a little ridiculous. Frankly, I'm mostly upset that my schedule for all of my classes is going to be messed up. Whatever. I'm going to spend my free time trying to get ahead in my classes, spending time with my sweet roommates and sleeping. Sounds delightful.

To all in OBU-world-- Happy Thursday/Saturday.

To everyone else-- Stay warm and don't get yourself killed on the ice. 'ight?

Love, Vern.

Can't sleep. Random thoughts.

I haven't been doing too much lately. So I've been thinking a lot. Here's some random ones, some life changing, some cynical, some nothing. But that's about normal, I think.

• Season 3 of 30 Rock is phenomenally funny. Oh my goodness.
• My three favorite things are Jesus, books, and TV on dvd-- in that order.
• I'm about halfway through The Time Traveler's Wife because it was on sale a Wal*Mart. It's pretty much just a jazzed up romance. Not great but definitely not bad. I don't know that I would recommend it-- but if you want to I wouldn't tell you no.
• Also saw Avatar tonight in IMAX 3D-- no less. I thought the 3D didn't actually add that much, but maybe I was just hoping things would jump out at me. Also, I thought the movie was incredibly made but poorly written. Well, mediocre-ly written. I'm ok with people putting their politics into movies, but it's kind of annoying when you don't have anything better to say than, "UH, America pretty much sucks." Because, if you don't have a better solution, then it's better not to say anything at all. BUT, if you haven't seen it, you have GOT to. Because the world that it's set in is freaking awesome. It's worth it just to see the creativity that went into those 300 million dollar graphics which are really quite snazzy.
• I've seriously considered getting married in a library before. Before you mock me, you have to see the Kansas City Public Library. It's beautiful.
• I am not ready for school.
• I have not yet even begun to review Greek! BAH!
• TPX weekend is pretty much planned in my head-- I just need the vision to be a little bit clearer so I can put it on paper. But it's going to be good and God is doing incredible things.
• Perhaps prayer is the best response to frustrations. (Oh wait, this is a definite.)
• I really like spending time with my family.
• I will miss my sister more than anything when I leave KC.
• I want to get the board games Things and Quelf.
• I am broke as a joke.
• I have said "I" a lot in this post. That's... icky.
• Parties get less fun when you get stuck talking to people you don't know about things you don't care about. :)
• Don't tell anyone, but I think Ke$ha is my new favorite guilty pleasure. AGGG-- it's just so CATCHY.

That pretty much covers it.

T-6 days and counting. ish.

-V

I promised to be nice.

So, here is my post about how awesome something is.

2009-- my year in review.

As I thought about this year, I realized that the God that I serve is really freaking good. 2009 has been a year of such huge growth in my life that I can't help but just get excited when I think about it. For real, I would say this has been the best year of my life. Highlights?

-Prayer fast- 70 days, just me and Jesus, rocking my world and changing my heart.

-Chapel Crew Co-Chair- the good, the bad, and the ugly all turns into God using a group of people committed to seeking his heart for their community. God taught me so much about faithfulness, my unbelief, and His goodness.

-Overseas- best. summer. ever. Learned so much about grace. God really revamped my entire notion of what it is to follow Him.

-Camp- watching the kids I have loved for so long really step up to the plate and get it. Not to mention dancing to MGMT with my brother.

-Just general growing up and learning. God has stretched me a lot overall. Also, I turned 20 this year, moved out of dorms and into an apartment. My friends collectively grew up and we all got to a point where we can just do life together. We can talk about important things and stupid thing and it's just... good.

So there's something for almost every color of the rainbow. I pray that 2010 continues the huge leaps in my walk that 2009 brought. Also, 2010 marks that I have been a Christian here for 10 years-- which is nuts. I've seen so many awesome things and learned so much about what it means to be a simple follower hungry for the Kingdom of God. I know I still have so far to go.

There you have it. Generally, life is awesome, because God is good [All the time!] and all the time [God is good!]. At least, I think that's how that goes.

To Him who can do far more abundantly than all we can ask or imagine-- to His name be glory in the Church and in Christ Jesus, forever and ever, amen!

Love.

Blerg!

Well kids, I am about 97.8% positive that not a single soul reads this anymore. And although that was never the point, it does really bring a couple things to my attention. 1) I think I've had a falling out with the person who was my most faithful reader (albeit a terrifically silent one) and 2) I'm am tempted to be 10x as offensive when I think no one is listening (reading-- whatever.) So, since the exceptions would be possibly Disch because I read and comment on her blog, the same with the Jacksons, and there was that time that Adam totally shocked me by telling me he read my other blog, to you I say, "Hello, I'm really quite fond of all of you-- and if you don't want to ingest any cynicism today, I will be very understanding if you stop reading now. It's ok."

But there are some things that have been on my mind.

I have been listening to the local Christian-talk radio station. Why? Partly because I keep forgetting to put my ipod back into my purse and thus cannot listen to it in the car, partly because I just found out that this station exists (92.5), partly because I get some sick pleasure out of disagreeing with people, and partly because I am genuinely concerned with knowing a) the general state of thought for the visible church, b) how others see us, and c) if there is anyone out there with something good to say. This is a great exercise in my ability to find flaws in the biblical interpretation of others-- which is probably a skill not worth developing-- and an excuse for me to give my diagnosis on the problems of the contemporary american church-- a practice destined (pre-destined if you will) to end in pride. But with those things said, I think I have had some good thoughts and I wanted to write them down. And since there is definitely a max of 4 people reading this, I say, "What the heck. Let's do it."

Sidenote: my tendency to create lists is exaggerated as the night continues and I have not been outside all day due to inclement weather. This promises to be a bit of a bumpy ride. For that, I apologize.

I think at some point, possibly in a Relevant email, I read an article telling the church that we needed to stop our habit of creating a Christian ghetto. And here I am signing my allegiance under this pledge wherever it is spoken. Here's the deal, Christians: we don't need more places where just Christians hang out-- that is what church is for. That is what bible studies are for. That is what Oklahoma Baptist University is for. We are creating our own sub-culture that has less and less to do with the world around us and we are becoming less and less recognizable as people. I hear you already, but Veronica, we are to be strangers and aliens in this world! And yes, that is solid biblical advice. But, no one wants to be like you when you are crazy and your kids can't watch normal movies. This is what I'm really trying to say.

We don't need Christian work out places. Go work out at a normal work out place. We don't need Christian punk-rock venues. Open up a regular punk rock venue. We don't need Christian coffee shops. Buy fair trade coffee at a regular coffee shop. Because if we send our kids to Christian schools and shop at Christian t-shirt stores and catalogs and only support Christian grocery stores then when do you ever expect us to interact with the rest of the world who we are supposed to be impacting? We are supposed to be salt and light! But instead we are removing ourselves from the world that we claim to mourn for insisting that they will probably drag us down.

Here's the deal, people. Jesus hung out with all the people that the church people hated. And if we are going to pick to follow one person's life style, I vote that we pick Jesus-- who did after all say, "Follow me." And if we are claiming to follow him, I believe that comes with the commandment to walk as he walked. Jesus hung out with the sinners and tax collectors and didn't become like them. Being strangers and aliens in the world does not mean disappearing-- in fact, it implies that you must necessarily be IN the world. So instead of running from the world, engage it and become a person who can love on people in all parts of life instead of escaping to the easier realm of the Christian ghetto.

I hope that made some sense.

In another blog I might suggest that people rethink the immediate need for someone who is a protestant to automatically be a conservative. I would argue that there is more to the issue of the sanctity of life than just getting people born. I would argue that perhaps we ought to take a deep look at God's heart for justice. And maybe that we open our eyes to see that robbing an entire group of people of rights because, "They're wrong, God says so." is probably not the best way to love them.

But you know what, anyone who started reading this is definitely not anymore and this is far to long and ranty anyway. BUT, perhaps someday I will be respected enough as a scholar to actually make a difference in the way people think. Until then I will speak at d-nows, write this blog, and if I get the guts call in to one of these fabulous shows I've been listening to.

Enough for now.

In other news, this break I think I have become a full-fledged feminist. So you can add that to the list of things that majority-right-wing Christians will dislike about me. The list is growing larger every day. I'll probably just put it on my fridge. :)

Also, I should mention-- the blog title comes from 30 Rock, of which the snow and Christmas presents have demanded I watch gratuitous amounts. It's wonderful.

Good night blogging community. I hope you are staying warm. The next time I write something I promise it will be about how awesome something is.

love.