But You Are a Girl
“Veronica, you are running from your calling. You are running because where God has placed you, it is easier to run than it is to be who God has called you to be.”
This bomb was dropped on me in a coffee with my home church pastor the summer after my junior year. The context was this: we were talking about my semester, especially what had been life giving for me. That previous spring I had gotten the opportunity to speak at a youth retreat and that had been the obvious pinnacle of my semester. In fact, when I think about that weekend, it stands out not only as the highlight of that semester, but as the best days of my life thus far. I surely do not need to tell most students reading this that there is something indescribably satisfying about listening to God and doing exactly what He tells you, no holds barred, without looking back.
But Joey was right; I was holding back.
What did I do, confronted with this obvious truth? Well, I cried. But then, I began to pray. I began to wrestle with my identity that I had allowed to become squelched by some of the naysayers I had encountered in the last 3 years.
Because the real truth is this: my heart is the heart of a preacher. I feel most alive when I am teaching. The Spirit has always communicated to me in words—especially words for other people. I cannot help it. I know that this is what I was born to do.
Unfortunately I think the working version of Romans 12:6-8 which a large portion of the church has adopted probably says, “We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith… if it is teaching, then teach… if it is to lead, do it diligently (unless, of course, you are a woman).”
Now, I understand that in this article I refer mostly to my own experience, an act which is exceedingly Wesleyan for a Baptist campus. And I am not asking you to rewrite your entire theology to accommodate the presence of women in ministry. (Well, I would like that, but this is not the proper forum.) But I am asking you to consider this: why, in a place where I am theoretically surrounded by brothers and sisters in Christ, had it become easier for me to be disobedient than obedient? Why was I running from my calling?
Of course, I am the only one to blame for my own fear and for my part I have solemnly pledged to follow God into whatever he asks, wherever it may be, unapologetic for how he has made me, all the days of my life—luckily, surrounded by grace for the times I will inevitably fall.
This is what I am asking: please remember that every theoretical discussion will ultimately involve real people, real lives, and real ministries. Perhaps we can all lay off our need to be right all the time in order to encourage those around us to live out their call as God has revealed it to them. Are we not all the children of God? After all, I am convinced that “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, neither male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:28)
With that said, I want to challenge you, my fellow Bison. Is it more important to prove that your theology is correct or to encourage those around you? There is a time and a place for every conversation, but conversations about how someone might be wrong about their calling should happen only in relationship. We speak against things, pretending that we are trying to love. But if we are honest with ourselves, I think we would see that most often we are protecting our own pride.
So I say, let us first consider how we might spur one another on toward love and good deeds. This, I believe, is our great calling as the body of Christ.
