Welcome Home?

Sometimes I wonder if I'm crazy. But then I remember that I'm 20 and I think we're supposed to be like this.

There's a funny thing about school and that is this: it keep you so stinking busy that you don't really have time to think about things if you don't want to think about them. You don't have time to deal with life-- you just live it and process it later. Healthy? Oh, probably not. But you know what, I've been learning the 8,000 paradigms that go with Greek verbs and I do not have time for this.

And so this semester, I kind of hit the wall. School just got really hard the last few weeks and I could not keep my paradigms straight for the life of me. It probably has something to do with going straight from school to overseas to school and never stopping to just be. Also, I've never really been one to turn the brain off for a moment (unless, of course, I'm watching the O.C.). So here I've been scrambling and dying, just a little bit, to get to this break and be able to just be for a while. I think my mind needs it.

But the problem with rest is now that my lower needs are met I can crawl back up the pyramid. Thanks Maslov for the imagery. And frankly, it is uncomfortable. The real question that comes out is, "If God and I are really doing pretty well right now, why am I still unhappy with this?" This can be whatever you need it to be-- but the issue for me is that I can't seem to shake it. It's there and I don't know how to make it go away.

I think I've been so busy for so long, I've forgotten how to be satisfied.

It's been a while but if I remember correctly, relearning satisfaction is neither pretty nor comfortable. Necessarily ugly, if you will. Oh, I will.

Here's to a break of rest, weddings, and freaking out. Should be... interesting.

Other news of interest: I am teaching a class at Gateway this January about Walking in the Spirit. So, that's going to be awesome. And if you'd like to pray for that, I'd really appreciate it. Adults are scary. Just trying to be obedient.

May the peace of Christ, which transcends all understanding, guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Amen.

Cheers!

-Veronica